Script Editing Service
Do you need some script notes or critique for a sitcom? Then I'm happy to give your script a thorough going-over! It'll most likely be quite harsh, but once you've gotten over the initial shock/hatred and read it again, you'll realise I've probably made a few valid points.
I've had moderate achievements with my own writing in The Sitcom Trials and The Sitcom Mission but have additionally script edited two entries to success; Vince Stadon's 'Checkpoint Dave', winner of The Sitcom Trials 2011 and Neil Tollfree's Alice & The Genie, the winner of The Sci-Fi Sitcom Trials 2012.
Vince was kind enough to recommend me thus:
"I had what I thought was a pretty good idea for a sitcom, but my first draft wasn't working, and I didn't know why. I sweated over it, wondering where the problem was, walking the streets, worrying. Sitcom scripts, like babies, keep screaming and crying, and you try this and you try that, to no avail. And then the mother comes in with a sort of smile/scowl, and makes it all okay. It was a bit like that for me when Dan took a look at Checkpoint Dave and changed the nappy. And then wiped up the drool, and suggested very sensible little changes that stopped me walking the streets, worrying. A bit later, draft 2 sorted, happy smiles all round, Dan emailed out of the blue with another suggestion that had been worrying at *him*. Stone cold brilliant, and I hated him for seeing it when I hadn't, and of course I always claim it was my idea all along.
I produce the Bristol Sitcom Trials now, and change other babies' nappies myself, but when I'm stuck and the screaming and crying won't go away, I know the email address of the man who'll stop me walking the streets, worrying."
Checkpoint Dave has since had its own theatre run in both Manchester and Bristol.
Neil is more succinct but I still come off well:
"My script, Alice and the Genie, won the Sitcom Trials. Without Dan's script editing it wouldn't have come close."
Commissioned BBC writer Jim Speirs has also, for want of a better phrase, used my services:
"I've used Dan's script-editing services for several comedy scripts and his notes were always honest, insightful and useful in making the scripts stronger and funnier."
Another commissioned BBC writer, Jane McCutcheon, who received feedback on her The Sitcom Mission 2014 entry, subsequently reaching the final 32:
"The most useful feedback I have EVER received. So impressed by your suggestions and your understanding of the characters."
Steve Rose, previously commissioned by an independent production company to write a sitcom script, also thanked me for feedback:
"A lot of useful stuff in there, thanks again Dan. Money well spent."
And from Peter Harris:
“Dan’s sit com editing service had been on my bookmarks for at least a year. I’d held off due to general procrastination, fear of being told I was sh*t and blah blah blah. I wish I’d pulled the trigger sooner.
His critique notes are thorough, focussed, fair and encouraging. My writing has more purpose now and I have a clearer path on how to create comedy from the characters. Don’t hesitate like I did.”
Rates are £20 per script (up to 15 minutes, Sitcom Trials/Mission kind of length) and £30 (over 15 mins, proper sitcom length) and you'll get them within two weeks. I'll do subsquent rewrite notes for £15 per rewrite. Contact me for further details.